is it just me?

this little blog is now getting 18 readers a day! woohoo! I don't know who you are, but a very warm welcome to wiscolizard. also, I am now getting comments from people I don't know. This is very exciting. As a little thank you to my airline commenting friends, I encourage you to read this article from Ask the Pilot on salon.com.

the gloved one(s)
Yesterday as I was leaving work I crossed paths with a woman who I could tell, even from a distance, was a bit unusual. While her outfit was what I like to refer to as 'office unfortunate', and consisted of a khaki vest and some patterned capris, along with white socks and sneakers D.C. style, this what not what I noticed. Well, not really. 1) she had crazy over-dyed hair and for a minute I thought it might be this crazy woman that used to work with us. 2) she was wearing ridiculous sunglasses, and 3) this is the big one: she was wearing elbow high white gloves. What on earth? The funniest part was that she was clutching her bag up to her chest so you could enjoy the gloves in all their glory. I thought and thought about it, and tried to come up with a reason why she would be wearing them, but I got nowhere. For a while I wore white gloves to sleep as a child. This was so I would not scratch my palms off due to eczema. And the white gloves were cooler than either winter gloves or socks, so there you have it. So I gave her the benefit of the doubt and figured that maybe, just maybe, there was a medical explanation? But then I think I would just wear long sleeves or something. It was super odd.

And then. And THEN, not five minutes later, just after crossing the street, I see ANOTHER woman wearing gloves. She is wearing a long sleeved black shirt, black dress gloves, a floppy black hat, giant sunglasses, and some other stuff. What the heck is going on? Now, I know you all think it is cold in Wisconsin, but it's summer now, and yesterday when leaving work it was a lovely 75 degrees. Not glove weather at all. So to see both of these people within five minutes? I was starting to wonder what planet I was on. Not Fashion Planet, that's for sure.

sincere apologies
if we have another thunderstorm here there are going to be no trees left and we are all going to start commuting in arks. So I would just like to take this opportunity to tell Mother Nature (again) I am very, very sorry for all the mean things I have done and I hope she will forgive me soon. Because I am not sure how much more I can take.

I will now confide in you something you would know about me if you could see me, and that is that I am pregnant. again. and before you think 'wait, didn't she just have a kid?' and/or 'what is she, nuts?' the answers are yes, and yes. but if you actually saw me in person I would like to think that although you might be wondering if I have heard of a wonderful thing called birth control (I have), that you would not actually say it out loud. However, I ran into someone today that I have kind of known for forever, and would never see if I had the choice. I only ever see her by accident. Here's how the conversation went:

me: Hi.
her: Hi. Know of any jobs?
(seriously, I have not seen her in months and months, and she wastes absolutely no time on small talk. she has lost her job. again. she's always looking for a job. it's super depressing.)
me: um...not really. looking?
her: blah blah blah about losing grant funding and human resource errors and a bunch of other shit I don't care about.
*finally, after 15 minutes of bitching*
her: so, what's new with you?
me: um...not much. you know, pregnant (stating the obvious.)
her: AGAIN?
me: yup, again. you know...(trails off because how the hell do you respond to that)
me: my life is still better than yours. see you later! I'll let you know if I hear of any jobs!

okay, so that's not quite how it went, but still. So, put "again" up there with "you're big already!" and "oh no! a winter baby!" and "how old is your other baby lizard again?" with all the other fantastic stuff I hear everyday. So, here we go. Again.

at least D List.
I was driving by a church the other day that was advertising ' "B" List Bible Stars!' HA! What exactly are bible stars? Who are the "A" List (the quotes are theirs, not mine) Bible Stars? Jesus? He must be one, right? Who else? I don't even know what a bible star is. Christian music perhaps? Televangelists? Who knows. Anyway, does anyone really want to be identified as "B" list, other than Kathy Griffin?

We have a baseball team here in the summer. It's not minor league. I think they call it wooden bat league or something, and basically it's a bunch of college players who come up here and play other regional teams for the summer. The baseball is okay, but the stadium and atmosphere are awesome. Seriously. And this summer they are featuring tons of B list (not even) stars, mostly aging child actors, who come and do features. The lineup is hilarious: Potsie, The Beav, Eddie Munster, and Gary Coleman (who still wants to know what Willis is talking about). They are also having American Idol Karaoke Night featuring William Hung. THe comment says "Come and meet the 'star'!" HAHA. They called him a "star". And if wooden bat baseball is questioning your celebrity status, you've got problems. Greg Brady came and did a show when I was in college and it was horribly depressing. Basically he bragged about his trysts with Marcia and Mrs. Brady, and then said he told the people backstage "In case your friends ask: black Calvin Kleins", insinuating that their friends were wanting to know what kind of underwear he was wearing, which they certainly did not. Mercy. How humiliating.

A side note on the Mallards (our baseball team) whenever a foul goes into the stands, the announcer says, in a very understated fashion, "Weiner." because if you catch it you win a hot dog. That, in my opinion, is way more exciting than seeing a poorly aging Potsie.

random
my favorite recent invention: foaming soap. what a great idea.
skill I wish I had: pulling into a parking spot backwards so you can just drive out.
favorite word of non-english speakers: sea. it sounds so much nicer than ocean. wouldn't you rather visit the sea? can we all agree to start referring to it as such?

happy tuesday.