is it just me?

It has come to my attention that the last time I posted about Zumba I was saying I would never do it. I have a funny story: Now I do zumba. The end. Just kidding! That's not the end. Oh no, my friends, Zumba is a source of almost as much fodder as facebook. And if I spent as much time doing Zumba as I do making fun of people on facebook I would probably be a lot skinnier. Alas.

Anyway, I started going a while ago and I will say that Zumba is fun. It is a totally crazy workout where you do these highly coreographed "dances" to (mostly) latin music. The instructor doesn't really talk, so you just follow along which means it is less annoying and infinitely harder to figure out what the hell is going on. The good part about this is everyone is kind of having to pay attention to the teacher and themselves, so they don't notice that you look less like you are doing the salsa and more like freaking out because you have a bee up your shorts. This is good for me because I am not very flexible, and not that great of a dancer, so I like the idea that no one is watching. However, judging by the amount of time I spend watching other people, the truth is that everyone is watching.

Now, I have spent my fair share of time inside a discoteca, and sort of get salsa, meringue, a little bit of cumbia, etc. I am very good at following a beat, and pretty good at remembering things. However, I possess absolutely no sexy. If someone were to describe me, they would never use any of these words: cute, nice, sweet, or sexy. If they use any of these I can say either they don't know me, or they are lying. Back to the point: my favorite zumba instructor is heavy on the sexy. She is in absolutely amazing shape, and kind of makes me feel terrible about myself. However, she seems really nice, and she teaches a hell of a class. But there is a lot of grinding and shimmying, which is not my forte. This is sort of a zumba option, and you will find some instructors that take a very Shakira approach, and others that are clearly dance team graduates.

About the dance team - since I go to zumba on campus, there is a whole lotta former dance team up in there. They are easy to spot. First look for the perfect ponytails. Dance girls do their hair, even for working out. Maybe especially for working out. Then there are the short shorts, since they are used to wearing lots of lycra short shorts probably feel like bathrobes. And pointed toes. They all point their toes and hold their hands in nice formation. These girls comprise about 25% of one of my zumba classes, and they are boring.

The next 25% is a surprising demographic: Asian women. I am not kidding. Apparently, Zumba is very popular with Asian women on campus. I am not entirely clear on why this would be. Many of them wear really crazily inappropriate attire. Like, Skecher mary janes that were certainly never meant to be workout shoes. However, there is one crazy little vixen who seems to own a LOT of really short, really tight shorts, some of with say things like "New York Funk" on the ass. And then she wears these tiny strappy tank tops, with her non-sports bra showing. But let me tell you something - that little mama can shake it! She gets going and feels it! I can only wonder what her mama would think if she saw all that funky going on, but hey! That's why we move out of our mamas' house, now isn't it.

Now, the next 25% is made up of a surprising demographic: people wearing religious t-shirts. Well, I guess technically there are only two, but this post is getting long enough already. Several weeks ago I spent an entire class of Zumba Plus behind a girl whose shirt said AMEN on the back. I kept trying to see what it said on the front, but never did. Then yesterday I was next to a girl who was wearing a shirt that said iFast with a fake Apple logo on the front, and Ramadan 08 on the back. Since when do religious holidays generate souvenir t-shirts? How odd. However, both girls wearing said t-shirts fell into the demographic of 'surprisingly good at zumba despite outward appearances'. The amen sistah looked like the girls from my HS softball team. Note that these are less the Jenny Finch/hot girls from ASU and/or USC and more, well, everyone else who plays softball. She was kind of boyish, but could knock some zumba moves out of the park. Which is what is great about zumba - it is quite an equalizer. And Miss Ramadan also made me laugh, since she was there shaking it while wearing a t-shirt for a holiday which I think of as a bit more chaste than shimmying to someone singing 'now we're going to get a little funky'.

The final 25% (so far it's Asians, Surprisingly Goods, and Dance Team) are the 'maybe nots'. Where the questions is 'should you stand in the front row?' and the answer is maybe not. Included in this group are people with no rhythm, people who think they are excellent dancers but aren't, and creepy guys. (Actually, there are only two guys in the class that I have ever seen, and neither one is creepy.) This is epitomized by a girl (woman?) I have dubbed Tennis Barbie because the first few times I saw her she was wearing a tennis skirt (think Justine Henin not Billie Jean King). She is quite tall and blonde, though not quite of Barbie proportions. She is very enthusiastic, and likes to add lots of ... extras, usually with unfortunate results. There is a lot of bouncing, and no shortage of enthusiasm, and for that I say, hat's off. Zumba your socks off.

One funny last story. Several weeks ago, as I walked in a woman was talking to the instructor before class. The instructor said "don't worry, just relax. it will be easy!" and I figured the woman was nervous about her first Zumba class. I noticed her because she looked familiar, and soon I realized that she is the Brazilian girlfriend of a graduate student I know. So, I watched her a couple of times and she was amazing. I mean, not only was her choreography perfect, but she was even adding her own little elements, all of which were great. So I thought - what on earth? How can this be her first class? I mean, it could be correctly argued that a Brazilian might have a leg up (haha) given their musical heritage, but still. The 'salsa' song in Zumba bears very little resemblance to actually dancing salsa. So, as I am paying more attention to her, I am increasingly distressed about my own poor skills. And then, all of a sudden, the teacher calls a bunch of students up onto the stage - including the brazilian! HA! Turns out she is a total regular, and what she was nervous about was doing it onstage in front of everyone. Phew.

Anyway, if you want to get exercise and laugh, go to Zumba! I can almost promise you won't be sorry.