is it just me?

four fridays ago.

since I last posted on here I have moved house. As anyone who has done it recently knows, it is not one of life's more fun processes. I didn't move very far, but I am not sure it matters. Everything has to get from one place to another, and it is in your best interest to do so in boxes. Otherwise it gets quite messy. If you are planning on moving and you and your husband both have full time jobs and you have a two year old, here's what I do not recommend: going out of town both weekends prior to your move. When you have friends showing up at 10am on Saturday to load your truck. And you have a proposal due at work. Because that's what we did, and let me tell you: it sucked.

Anyway, so three fridays ago we were trying to do some last minute packing since we were headed to Milwaukee for the weekend to see my sister. We both had long weeks, and having to pack on a Friday night was just the icing on the cake. So at 8:45, mr. lizard says "I would kill for a beer." Unfortunately we did not have any at the house. Madison has this very strange law that you cannot buy alcohol after 9pm in a store. (You can in a bar, of course.) So I check my watch, and being the good wife that I am offer to run to the grocery, which is two blocks away, and get it. He says I'll never make it in time which I take as a direct challenge, and off I go. You know what is classier than buying beer at 8:54pm? Buying beer at 8:54pm pregnant. When the high school checker has to page a manager to ring it through for you. Um...yeah. That was awesome. And the manager gave me such a look of contempt and I was about to explain that I was just being a good wife but then I decided - it's really none of her business. If I want to go home and drink this whole thing that's my problem. (Well, and mr. lizard's.)

four saturdays ago
as mentioned above, we then went to Milwaukee to meet up with my sister and her family who were there for a wedding. Since she is usually much, much more than an 1.5 hour drive away, and because she needed a babysitter for the wedding, we headed on over. On Saturday night they went to the wedding, so mr. lizard and I were in charge of her two kids, aged almost three and basically zero (he's three months) and our almost two year old. Since we were staying in a hotel, we unfortunately had to take them out to eat. We decided a restaurant might be more than we could handle, and there was a big outdoor festival nearby so we decided go there. We took our two stroller/one walking kid/pregnant lady circus on the road and it thought: right now I am little more than a walking ad for birth control. I was sure that I was going to lose my niece in the crowd. And my own child was borderline hysterical due to creepy pirates and giant puppets. If we learned one thing it is that we do not want three children under the age of 3. No sir. If we learned two things, it was that pizza delivery to the hotel was a better idea than it originally seemed. haha.

There was this woman dressed as a pirate (sort of) at the festival. She actually looked pretty creepy and had soot all over her face. She was playing with my niece who thought she was kind of funny, but she almost instantly made babylizard cry. And then for some reason she thought she could fix it. So she keeps getting closer to her and doing more weird stuff at which point baby liz can no longer breathe because she's so freaked out and I am looking at the woman like "seriously, get the eff out of here. immediately." I later saw the same woman go up to this really tall (and I mean REALLY tall, like probably 6'6") woman and make a big fuss. After she walked away, the tall woman said "that was supposed to be funny, but it was just really rude." She seemed pretty irritated. I think that woman needs to try to stop doing street theatre. Oh, and those damn pirates scared my kid like four separate times. I really need to toughen her up.

three thursdays ago
I went to a monthly board meeting. We talked about the same things we've been talking about for months, agreed on almost nothing and adjourned nearly 45 minutes late. At the end of the meeting I had this conversation:

him: I didn't realize you were pregnant again.
me: yup, we're crazy enough to do it again.
him: how old is your other kid?
me: two. (actually, she'll be two on saturday but ever since the onslaught of this 'again?!' business I went ahead and made her two. it sounds better.)
him: my wife and I have no idea how people do that.
me: do what?
him: you know, have kids that close together. Like, two kids two years apart.
me: yeah...well...we'll see. (mumbles about how baby liz is a good girl and blah blah)
him: tomorrow is v-day for me.
me: what?
him: vasectomy day. we're done.
(the guy has a four month old. vasectomies seem like a good idea to lots of people with four month olds because four month olds are little invasive aliens that don't sleep. however, it is very important that you do not indulge, because when your kid turns fun all of a sudden another one seems like a great idea.)
me: wow, well that settles that!
him: so, when are you due?
me: December.
him: yeah, that's the other thing. I have no idea how anyone can survive having a baby in the middle of winter.
me: your wife is ugly and your breath is bad. see you next month!

Seriously, if someone picked you up in their new Toyota would you say "God, I don't know why anyone would ever buy a Toyota. They are the worst cars ever." Or if someone told you that they were moving to Florida, would you say "Ugh, I don't know how you could possibly live there with all the heat and white trash." I mean, in that case that is what you would want to say, but would you? Probably not, because you were probably not raised in a barn or under a rock or by wolves and therefore you have some tiny shred of good graces. So when someone tells you that that they are doing something that is irrevocable (like being several months pregnant with your second child in two years and due in December) would you make them feel like that was the worst decision they ever made? Let me help you: if you want to answer yes to that question, consider becoming hermit immediately. Or alienate the whole world person by person. Your choice.

I told you
when something random happens it always comes back to wisconsin.

First this which is just, wow. I cannot even explain. what exactly does it camouflage you FROM? (thanks to doberman for the link.)

and then this from dooce, which doesn't exactly make Wisconsin look bad, but it IS a dog in a blue wig and leg warmers.

cougar
there's a DJ on my favorite radio station that I hate. she's annoying. but they play good music, so I endure. Anyway, she's on the older side and has, as mr. lizard likes to say, "a face made for radio". she's unfortunate. and she's sick a LOT. I think she probably smokes and drinks too much. But anyway, she always has a crush on some new hot, young musician. it's really kind of tragic. she makes all these off-color comments and insinuations. ew. and I bet she TOTALLY humiliates herself when they come to town. I wish someone could make her stop.

moving
in addition to being a big hassle, moving is really disorienting. baby lizard couldn't sleep and refers to our current home as "new house" and our old home as "this house". she used to call it babylizard's house, but that is a concept that has, hopefully temporarily, ceased to exist. the dog doesn't know where to sleep, though he is enjoying the fact that we have a lot more carpet and a screened porch. we started putting his bed on the porch and he can have inside/outside privileges all day. so, I think he's happy. And me, well. I don't know. I like it. It's too big. I can't remember where I put anything. I feel like I am on vacation, except I have all my stuff and I have to go to work and wash dishes. So, it's a pretty terrible vacation. But I still think I like it.

getting this far has taken me days, so I am just going to publish and come back soon.