is it just me?

on a plane. quite possible the worst name for a movie ever. at least for a movie that's supposed to be scary. or is it not supposed to be scary? samuel l. jackson: what the hell are you thinking? I just can't get behind this nonsense. Every time I see the ad I think it must be a Saturday Night Live skit or something, but no. They actually made a movie named snakes on a plane. god help them.

the other thing I currently object to: pepto bismol deciding to actually incorporate all the symptoms their product is for into their commercials. Complete with people reaching for the appropriate part of their anatomy. it's disgusting. and what's worse is it totally gets stuck in my head. it's horrible. it contains the word diarrhea. nothing good can come of that. And I pity the poor suckers who are out in LA trying to "make it" and only managed to book a pepto bismol commercial. at least be in a commercial for something nice that people like. like food or something. not diarrhea medicine.

it's too hot here. I looked at the weather map and the whole country is red so apparently it's too hot everywhere. this weekend was really melt your eyeballs hot, and so I did nothing. I found a pool to swim in an I spent a lot of time lounging in the air conditioning. And that was funny for a while but I am ready for the heat to be over. It was 85 degrees at 10 pm, and 80 degrees at 7 am. I do not live in Texas. Our payback for seven months of winter is supposed to be some semblance of nice weather in the summer. But no. This is boring. Let's move on.

I have very little else to report. I am now less than two weeks away from my due date, so hopefully the end is in sight. If I were to go early that would be more than fine by me. If I go overdue god help anyone who has to interact with me because it is going to be UGLY. All those mean things I think about people and keep to myself? Not anymore. I think that will be just the time to share with them. Why not. I can then hide in my house with my baby for three months and by the time I emerge they will have forgotten. Or at least chalked it up to hormones and the heat. And pity the next person who says "how are you dealing with the heat?" or "still here, huh?" or "you look like you could go any second". Thanks. No one has said any of those to me in , oh, five minutes. Seriously. It's great. I love it. The more people who remind me that I am dragging my fat ass around work and will be until the end of the earth the better. Because really, I'm just happy to be here.

Maybe now you're glad I don't post so much. Boring, whiny pregnant lady. Keep it to yourself. But here's something: I don't really watch tv in the summer because I can't actually believe how bad summer tv is. However, I occasionally succumb mostly because I don't have much energy for other pursuits. So I started watching project runway. And I must admit I kind of like it. There's just enough bitchiness for me. And plenty of the characters are kind of crazy and hateable. And they make clothes, and I am sort of fascinated by the ability to dream up clothes and make them. So, if you find yourself laying on the couch on Wednesday eating bon bons and feeling full, check it out. Maybe you will like it.

Although I feel it would make me a better person, I cannot bring myself to spend $16 (for two) to go see Al Gore's movie about global warming. I will confess that I would rather see The Devil Wears Prada. Does that make me a bad person? Cast your votes....

move somewhere where people have no sense of humor. I would die. And I would have no friends. So, there's a visiting scholar here in the deparment from Germany. Not to say that all Germans are rigid efficiency machines, but, well, Germans are rigid efficiency machines. This guy has been here for a year or so, and I think every conversation I have had with him lasted about 9.2 seconds. He comes in, asks the one question he has, and leaves. And whenever I try to joke around he doesn't joke back, and he seems kind of baffled. So then last week I had lunch (by series of weird coincidences) with another visiting scholar here from Norway. He has a little bit more sense of humor, but suffice it to say that my humor style did not translate. It was terrible. It reminded me of one time when I was talking to an exchange student from Yugoslavia and being my usual self and he said "Why are you so hostile". (though, he pronounced it hos-tile not hostel) and I thought, hmmm...apparently I need to stick to the basics. So, I have concluded that I cannot move some place where the people are too serious, which I think means I cannot move somewhere cold because I think there is a direct correlation between the weather, friendliness and sense of humor. This theory merits more study, so I will have to get back to you on the details.

Do me a favor. If you know someone who is pregnant, and you see them when they are far along, please please refrain from saying "Haven't you had that baby YET?" Believe me when I say that that makes pregnant women want to kill you. Also, try to refrain from saying "You're big!" because no matter what anyone says, "big" is never a compliment. okay, well almost never. for women maybe never.

it's been another excruciatingly slow day at work, but thankfully the time for going home is nearing. have a good weekend.

I'm lazy. Maybe I'm always lazy but now that it's hot and I'm pregnant I am even lazier. So, no posts. Until today when I am still lazy but bored at work.

A couple of weeks ago I went to water aerobics. I thought it sounded like a good kind of exercise for someone like me. I was told the class was full of old ladies and fat people. Right up my alley. So I went, and let me tell you: water aerobics is NO JOKE. It's hard. There were quite a few heavier ladies in there, but they were rockin the water aerobics. So, it's in deep water but they give you this flotation belt thingy. I had a bit of a hard time knowing where to put it since belts usually go, as you well know, around your waist, and I have not had a waist since some time in March. So, I manage to get it strapped on and this thin, perky, young blond (ie just the kind of people I was hoping to avoid in water aerobics) says "Does it fit?" Now, I am sure she was just being nice, but unfortunately I had to throw her in the pool and hold her head under anyway. I felt bad about it though. So then it turns out that lots of people in the class are pregnant. Only one is visibly pregnant, and I am way bigger than she is. The other two still have flat stomachs but wanted me to know that they were pregnant too. I don't care. Once you get to this late in your pregnancy you feel like you have this badge of honor, and those who are only a few months along are not yet in the club. I am very exclusive. Anyway, I am going back tonight. Wish me luck.

I was looking through the random classifieds the other day, and there was a posting that went something like this "Retired gentleman looking for young, educated female companion for expenses paid one week trip to Cancun". I wasn't even in the personals section! That's crazy! This old dude wants some young hot chick to go to Cancun with him and he's posting in the classifieds. If some girl responded to that and she ends up on the cover of People magazine I will only say "that's what you get for responding to that ad". Seriously. I wonder if a) it's legit and b) he got any takers. People are insane.

I had a baby shower this weekend. I still don't think they're fun. This one was more fun because it was my friends, but I really think the overall format is flawed. I think people who end up doing them more like parties where there's more focus on beer, eating and having fun and less focus on watching someone open baby gift bag no. 37 and pull out some tiny crap that no one cares about are really on to something. So, if you have a baby shower make it a jack and jill (men and women) serve alcohol, and refuse to open any gifts. We did have people decorate onesies (kind of funny) and my friend wrote "ask me about my tattoo" on hers which I thought was pretty funny. Suffice it to say that baby lizard will be wearing that one to the grocery store.

No one comes to work here anymore. I don't know what the deal is. Apparently working in the summer is optional here or something. Though not for us measly staff. This has totally killed my motivation and productivity. When the office is empty some people say "It's great, it's so quiet I can get a ton of stuff done." Others, like me, say "It's great. I can surf the internet all day and there's no one here to catch me." So, not much has been getting done here. oh well, it doesn't really seem to matter.

anyway, that's all I have for you today.