is it just me?

Monday, January 05, 2009

 

tis the season to go crazy

the holidays make people crazy. My in-laws can make me crazy. New babies and no sleep make you crazy. So, when you combine a two week old, a week with the in-laws, and the holiday season it is a recipe for a serious meltdown. Just to make sure everything was a total mess, my baby literally did not sleep on Christmas eve. And then I was trying to make Christmas awesome for my two year old, but really I was too tired for awesomeness. So, by the end of the day we were all pretty much totally spent and ready to throw in the towel. BUT we rallied and all's well that ends well, right?

little orphan annie
Prior to the holidays, I had a week with no visitors when mr. lizard was still kind of working and baby lizard still had daycare. So, I did what all new moms do - not much. For some reason, my neighbors decided that 9am was a good time to visit someone with a new baby. Let me tell you - it is not. Of course I was still in my pajamas. I mean, 9am is actually kind of a reasonable time to be in your pajamas, but when you don't have to go to work and you have a tiny baby, you may or may not be in your pajamas all day. Anyway, since my dog was barking like he wanted to kill someone and they were not going away, I finally went down. They brought me a gift, which was nice, but they could have brought it at, say, 4pm and it would have been even nicer. Anyway, the woman had her two year old with her, who was terrified of my dog (understandably, though he is very nice). I have my baby who is kind of crying and probably needs to eat, and so it's a bit of a circus. I sort of want them to just leave me alone to my nursing marathon, but my neighbor really wants to hold the baby. However, she can't put her kid down because of the dog and I can't control the dog because of my baby (see? total circus). Her solution? Not go home and try again another day. No sir. She instructs her two year old to stand on the porch and wait while she holds the baby. Did I mention it's 20 degrees out? And the kid is TWO YEARS OLD? Her crazy mom even says "go stand out there like a little orphan and you can look at the baby through the window". What on earth. So she shoos her out and SURPRISE! she starts crying. Which I totally could have guessed. I finally insist that she let her back in, because the whole thing is pure insanity. Mercifully, they leave a few minutes later. Uff.

My other neighbors who are probably in their 80s also wanted to come by. I was attempting to nap downstairs, baby Liz was dutifully napping in her bed, and everyone else was gone. I am half asleep and hear something, crack an eyelid and see them but they don't see me with my eyes open. So I quick close them figuring they will see me sleeping, and leave. But no. They knock. My dog goes ballistic (there's a theme here) which wakes up baby Liz. So, now she's in her room crying, my baby is not all that happy, and again I have a dog I can't control. I might have killed them, but they seem so sweet. She proudly reported that she bought my gift in October. It was a pair of tiny slippers that look kind of like santa hats and say "Mommy's Little Joy". My nap was ruined for those. And for some reason she bought them to fit a one year old. So, they will never get used. Ever. Baby Liz is screaming in her room because she has woken up too early, and yet they stand there and ask inane questions that I really don't feel like answering. And that nap can never be recovered. If you are contemplating waking a napping mother of a week old baby, do not do it. I am pretty sure that if they kill you it is justifiable homicide.

A final note about people knocking. The mailman came and I was nursing. I would have ignored him, but I see him kind of looking at me as he is preparing to leave a thingy to sign for a package. I figure I will save myself the hassle of dealing with it later, so I throw a blanket over the baby and answer the door. He is scared the dog will escape, so I go out on the front porch. He seems really nervous, and to this day I don't know if he was freaked out about the dog or the exposed boobs. But when you nurse 16 hours a day, really you don't even notice whether or not your girls are covered, and you kind of stop caring who sees them. He gets out of there as fast as he possibly can. I think I caused him to consider a career change. I saw him in the bagel shop the other day and I think he recognized me. I am pretty sure I saw him blush. haha.

beer girl
I worked at a bar on campus when I was in college and I refused to mix drinks. I just served beer, and was therefore known as beer girl. I also like to drink beer. A lot. So I was more than a little horrified the other day when baby liz said "what mama doing?" and I said "drinking beer?" and she laughed and said "no, mama's a girl." She thinks girls can't drink beer! This is terrible! I carefully explained that lots of girls drink beer and one day she can too.

okay. that's all I have for you for now. all this typing is making me tired.

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