is it just me?

perhaps you have seen an advertisement for this upcoming made for tv movie with Rosie O'Donnell. In it she plays a developmentally disabled woman who (I'm guessing here) rides the bus with her sister, played by Andie McDowell. Unfortunately for Rosie she dresses like a 7 year old and has bad hair in the movie. Now, I will say that things weren't going all that well for her career recently, and given that when I first saw a picture of filming for the movie I didn't realize that she was in costume I am not sure this will save the sinking ship that is Rosie's career.

But this is not a post about Rosie O'Donnell. This is a post about the bus. I ride the bus to work. For the first two years I lived here I didn't have a car and I rode the bus everywhere. After extensive social observation, I came to the conclusion that most of the people that ride the bus are weird. Commuter buses are not so bad, but if you ride the bus in the middle of the day or, even worse, at night: look out. Loonies everywhere. Probably the weirdest was this one woman who was loudly talking political and religious nonsense while desperately trying to manage the seventeen suitcases and parcels she had with her. A guy gets on a few stops later. While everyone else on the bus has been studiously burying their nose into anything they can to avoid having to talk to the ranter, this guy starts listening. And then he starts talking to her. He thinks she makes perfect sense. He thinks she's right on the money. Together they will save the world. Next thing I know we're at her stop, and he offers to get off and help her with her bags. Half hour til the next bus be damned. This was bus love.

At my stop in the morning there is a rotating cast of characters. One guy is very odd. He won't talk. He'll stare at you until you look at him and say good morning and then he'll quickly look away. He's a grad student (or a student of some sort) and he has a kind of weird wife. How he got a wife is a mystery since he won't talk. But anyway, I think he has a condition. It is spring here in Wisconsin, but after a few glorious days in the seventies we've calmed down to our standard 50 degree April days. However, this is relatively temperate. After a winter of freezing temps, your standards shift. All of a sudden 40, which it was this morning, is not so bad. This guy was wearing a turtleneck, a turtleneck sweater, a fleece jacket, a jean jacket, a parka, two pairs of gloves and a hat. This is not Mount Everest, people. Now, I get cold. But that is ridiculous. So just as I am trying to think what sort of medical condition might cause this behavior (hey, I forgot my magazine at home and had 15 minutes to kill on the bus) I notice this other guy sitting to my right behaving oddly. Then I recognize him - I saw him at a squash match this weekend (we were spectators). He kept asking what game it was. About every two seconds. The ref would say "so and so serving, 6-4." He'd say "6-4". Then he'd look at us and ask the score. Then "what game is it". I finally decided maybe he was drunk. But no. He was sitting there this morning casting weird looks around and talking to himself. And where else would I expect this guy to show up except the bus. It's just so fitting.

So why is everyone on the bus weird? My co-worker suggests that weird people can't keep jobs so they have no money so they have no cars so they ride the bus. I also think weird people like having a captive audience. Once I spent an entire ride to work listening to a woman tell me all about everything she was wearing, where she bought it and how much it cost. Another lady that I see regularly (whom I affectionately refer to as Crazy Bus Lady but who really isn't half as crazy as a lot of em) talks to me incessantly about her dog. And my dog, since once she found out I had one that was something we had in common. Sometimes she would tell me a story in the morning about how her dog ate breakfast, and in the afternoon she would have cornered some other poor sap and would be telling the same story. Sad, really. Now she got laid off and I don't see her anymore. I have to admit, I miss her sometimes.

Today my bus driver stopped about 20 feet short of where all passengers were waiting. I stand in the same spot everyday, and I get picked up there every day. But not this guy. He's trying to teach us a lesson. And that lesson is - I own you, bus people.

Well, this post isn't really going where I want it to. I feel like the bus is interesting but maybe not. But one day if you're bored in the middle of the day, ride the bus. Destinations almost guaranteed for entertainment are hospitals and shopping malls. You'll find out some things about the people in your neighborhood. And you'll quickly realize why people love their cars.