is it just me?

the other day I was entering the parking garage in front of my office (hey, everybody needs a day off from the bus now and again). I got to chatting with the parking lot attendant who I have a very casual "hello, nice weather, eh?" type relationship with. As part of this recent encounter he said " you must love your job". (I cannot possibly imagine what I said that had made that the obvious reply.) But then I asked him if he loved his job. First of all, what a mean thing to ask a parking lot attendant. But you know, he does seem to like it. So then he says "Not anymore. I am very very sick." Crap. Why did he have to tell me that? I have absolutely no idea how to reply. I honestly think I said "Well, have a nice day!" I am really that bad at sympathy. Someone tells me they're very very sick, and instead of inquiring further, or at least wishing them well, I drive off.

Now, I wish I was a little better in these situations. Recently a few people at work have had their fathers die. My solution? Avoid them like the plague until they forget that you never told them how sorry you were. These sorts of encounters paralyze me. And since I have enough trouble dealing with it with people I know and like, the last thing I need is to feel bad for the parking lot guy. I would never tell him if I was sick. I would never want him to worry about me. So why do people tell me these things? Can't they understand that I am not good at this sort of stuff? The funny part is, he never told anyone else here that he was sick. I think I am a friendly sort of person. I remember coming home from the grocery store one night when I still lived in Boston. I was telling my roommates the sad story of how the bagger lady's granddaughter wasn't coming for Christmas. They had absolutely no idea how I had gotten in to this sort of conversation with the bagger lady. But hey - I'm friendly. And people like to talk. Even in Boston where most people are not especially friendly. Probably even more there, because they don't have as many chances to get it out of their system. But this complete inability to respond appropriately to bad news is not a good combination with being someone who inspires people to open up. No sir, not a good combination at all.

I drove in to work again today. I tried not to get to talking with the guy. We stuck to the weather. I sort of wonder if he's upset that I pretend that he never told me he was sick. But hey, that's the best I can do. I can't get in to some involved thing where (god forbid) he actually tells me what's wrong with him. The last thing I want is more details. Does that make me a bad person?

Here are some other things that might make me a bad person:
1. When crossing a busy street, I often view people who are crossing between me and traffic as my 'blocker'. I will consciously think "If the cars hit the people, at least they'll hit that guy first."
2. I really hate eating with fat people. It totally grosses me out.
3. When I am waiting for the bus when it has just snowed (meaning that the bus will be at least 15 minutes late unless you come out late in which case it will be right on time) I hope that someone driving will get stuck in the snow. It's fun to watch them try to get out.