is it just me?

A smash is like a crush, but it is not sexual. It is generally on someone of your same gender, though this is not a requirement. You know when you meet someone and you think they're great and you want to hang out with them and be their friend? (No? Whatever.) You have smash. It is common to have smash on celebrities - you see them on TV or in magazines, they seem fun, you want to be their friend. I totally have a smash on Jon Stewart. I just want to hang out and have beers with him.

Anyway, I used to have a smash on this singer named Neko Case. She has a fantastic voice and if you have never heard her then you should go out of your way to do so. The first time I saw her was at one of my all-time favorite concert venues : upstairs at the Middle East in Boston. She told funny stories and she sang nice songs and she seemed like a great person. And so started the smash. I bought her album, I listened to it a ton, and I waited for a chance to see another show. Just after we moved to Madison, we saw a poster that said she was coming to town. I was so happy. I felt like it was a sign that I would be happy in Madison, and I went to the show. It was a good show, and she was selling a cd that she made in her kitchen. She said she'd sign em. So we went over and bought it, and there she was, and I expected her to at least say hello but she just snatched the cd and signed it and acted totally bored. I felt like saying "You know you're not that famous, right? No one I know has heard of you." (In fairness this was several years ago and she's a little more famous but still.) She could have been a little nicer, a little happier that she had fans and was getting paid to play music.

A tangent: I think it is very important to be honest with yourself about how famous you are. There are few things more aggravating than when someone who is really quasi-famous acts like a total A-list asshole. I mean, if you're Harrison Ford, act like an asshole all you want. You are really famous. Ditto Michael Jordan. But don't be the salsa band that has guys from my high school in it. I talked to their booker about playing my wedding, and he sent me a two-page hospitality rider than included three kinds of beer and two kinds of hummus (!) Are you fucking kidding me? I don't think so, papi. It's not like you're the gypsy kings. Not surprisingly the booker called me up several months after I declined their charming offer to say they were still available and willing to "negotiate" on price. Assholes. I mean, even Tom Cruise who is super famous has found out that he can't get away with that crazy scientology talk and professing his love for a fifteen year old. People are starting to think he's weird.

Back to Neko. So, the cd encounter was disappointing and my smash was fading. We went to another show and all the funny stories were gone and she wasn't feeling well and the show was lame, and it faded further still. The other day there was an interview with her and I hoped to see some flash of the old neko with her funny stories and unwashed jeans and happy demeanor, but no. It was a boring, grumpy interview. I don't want to be her friend anymore. My smash is over. But her music is still good so listen to her anyway.