is it just me?

Yesterday I spent the entire bus ride home trying to decide if the people in front of me were speaking Chinese or Japanese. The ridiculous part is that I don't speak Chinese OR Japanese, but somehow I have convinced myself that I can tell the difference. Like this is my superpower or something (though, if that really is my only superpower then I am an even bigger dork than I realized). I also think I can tell if people are Chinese or Japanese, and this helps with the whole language thing. But I listened for 10 minutes (again, I left my reading material at work) and though I am pretty sure it was Chinese I cannot be positive. I would have guessed that two participants were Chinese, but the third guy looked Japanese. I will likely die not knowing, unless I ask them which seems weird.

As for telling people apart, it really comes down to the clothes. Especially on young people. No one follows a trend quite like Japanese teens. They have a tendency to be meticulously dressed, often in the latest fashions. Apparently everything is very expensive in Japan so here in the U.S. even expensive things seem not so bad so they can wear $150 jeans and Marc Jacobs shoes and think nothing of it. Have you noticed that a lot of major clothing catalogs have special info for customers in Japan? I think they buy a lot of stuff. Chinese young people on the other hand often wear brightly colored outfits with wacky English that says things like Sunshine Cloudy Day, Good Friend. Enjoy for Dancing! and have a picture of some little cartoon animal.

There are a lot of Chinese students in my department here. On one of the first days of orientation when I was still a student, I walked in carrying my bike helmet. The first and last conversation I had with a guy from China went like this:

Peng: You come here bicycle? I come here bicycle!
Me: Oh yeah? Great. Where do you live?
Peng: blank look
Me: Where do you live? Where is your house?
Peng: It, uh.., Badger...Parkway?
Me: Oh. Well, nice to meet you.

the end. After spending the first few weeks of class is business attire, making all the regular grad students look bad, Peng went shopping. He showed up one day in brand spanking new jeans, brand spanking new white tennis shoes, and a sweatshirt with a picture of an eagle (I swear I am not making this up) that said God Bless America. Apparently he bought it all at Wal-Mart. God bless america indeed.

On a side note to this story, when traveling abroad I like to tell myself that people cannot tell I am American. But you know what? They can tell. We give off a certain unmistakable odor that we ourselves cannot smell but foreigners have a sixth sense for. This all came home for me when I was traveling in Moscow in September. I was attempting to cross a busy street, and a woman bumped in to me. She turned, took one look and said "Oh, excuse me. I wasn't looking." In perfect English. That's right, in one single second she knew I was definitely not Russian and definitely did not speak any Russian. I was crushed. I mean, Russia of all places. I don't think I necessarily look Russian (whatever that means) but I don't like to think I give off such a strong "I am absolutely totally not from here" vibe. I mean, that's why tourists get robbed all the time. Because they can tell we're tourists and know we are easily confused. I am still trying to find that place where I blend in, but I think the key is to work on my outfits. And it is very important to carry the right type of bag. I mean, other than the dark socks, the multi-colored backpacks are one of the surest signs of a European tourist. I am going to Peru next week where I definitely won't fit in. So I won't even try. I'll just wow em with my height.

Incidentally, I go to these places for work. Overall my job is kind of regular but it does involve a small amount of international travel which makes it seem mysterious and exciting. It makes people feel jealous of my job, but if they had it all to themselves they'd probably want to give it back.