is it just me?

I will admit right here that I love People magazine. I have a subscription. I read every page. I don't just like the celebrity photos, I enjoy those stories in the back about the people with 57 foster kids and the lady who says Jesus wants her to crochet for soldiers in Iraq. I may be the only person in America who subscribes to both People and The Economist. In the average week I read a much larger percentage of People, but you have to get your news somewhere.

Anyway, last week in People there was a headline (and I am not making this up): HELP! My Baby's Head is Flat! I laughed out loud. It's a story about parents whose babies head have flat spots (isn't that all babies?) from too much lying around. So now they are putting on these freaky head re-shaping helmets to cure the flatness. Honestly. This is an insane world we live in. I would definitely be much too embarrassed to be interviewed for that article.

On another People note, perhaps you will recall that a while ago I told you about another blog called Everything is Wrong With Me. So back then I said that his blog is what made me want to have my own, which is true. Shortly after I started mine (like one post after) he made an offer on his site to link to other blogs. So, since about a billion people read his and about one person reads mine I thought "hey, that could be my ticket to blog stardom" or at least 2 readers who I don't know (besides my #1 superfan Jane). So I emailed him and told him I wanted a link. So he emails me back a form message which says basically that he is god's gift to the internet and he's about to be famous on Comedy Central and he has an agent and so he's trying to spread the word about his blog. Because of this, in order to get a link you have to write a post about his blog with links in your own (hence my previous post which you now know what not out of the goodness of my heart), and you have to send a link to ten of your friends. When I first read this, I thought "Fuck that. What a douchebag." But as you know I changed my mind. I realized that I didn't want to tell everyone I know about this because then I can't make fun of them, and I realized even if I did tell everyone I know I would still only have about 5 readers. So I did all the stuff, harassed my friends, changed the code on my template to allow links, etc. He finally put up a "Friends and Lovers" list. The lovers are the blogs he really likes. The friends are the rest of them (mine included) with very small type and very little incentive to check them out. So, after pimping him I basically get an honorable mention, a certificate of participation, but no real award. But that's okay.

So, what does this have to do with People magazine you ask? Well, in their recent 50 Hottest Bachelors issue, Jason Mulgrew is in there. I am not kidding. So then I realized maybe he was serious about getting famous. I am not sure if that makes it better or worse, since if you're in People magazine do you really need me to email my ten friends and write a post about you? I don't think so. But the funny part is a fair bit of his blog is about how disgusting he is. To read the thing you'd think he's 350 lbs, dirty, and basically sweating bourbon and cheese fries. In my mind he was not at all attractive. And then BOOM he's on the hottest in america list with the likes of Usher and Orlando Bloom who are both genetically blessed, though frighteningly cheesy. And he doesn't look bad. This is actually a problem for him. He has now spent several posts trying to convince people that it was the stylists and the lighting, and that in real life he looks way worse. In several follow up interviews he sent in a photo that makes him look like a child molester. But it's kind of hard to talk about what a loser you are when america's number one entertainment magazine has said you are a hot and eligible bachelor with a funny blog. It just alienates the real losers who are sitting in their basements reading his blog thinking "That asshole, I thought he was one of us." Fame is tricky, my friends, fame is tricky.