is it just me?

remember that song? It always makes me think of the 8th grade.

Anyway, last night we went to this old school steak house/supper club (a term with which you are probably not familiar if you live outside the midwest) called Smoky's Club. The hostesses are each like 80 years old, as are almost all of the customers, and some of the staff. It's a hilarious old place with crazy crazy holiday decorations on top of all the wacky shit that is regularly on the wall. But we start looking around, and behind our table there's a picture of a baby fox (what's that, a kit?) with a caption that says "I must be special because I am God's creation." So then we start looking more closely, and there are no fewer than 20 posters hung around the place with handwritten messages (in handwriting that looks like generic grandma handwriting - how is is that they all write alike?) on poster board about being a good christian. It was very entertaining. But my favorite of all the signs was the one that said in big letters "No Profanity Allowed". Ha ha. I had to be on my best behaviour. Fortunately I am pretty sure that the lady who wrote all the signs was probably too deaf to hear what we said.

So, I came in to work today, and there is a small paper sign inside a plastic envelope that says "Please keep the door closed during cold weather." This is Wisconsin. It's winter. No one leaves the door open. But these signs are becoming an epidemic. We got a new staff person and she's crazy about signs. There's one at the water fountain telling you not to dump things down it, and there's one by the thermostats telling you not to turn them too high (or too low). They are everywhwere. We also get emails. Emails telling us to wipe our feet so we don't track in snow. Emails telling us not to forget that trash only gets collected on Wednesday. Emails telling us the lightbulb in Room 215 is out. It's horrible. And they all say "Questions? See Dawn in Room 400." I am going to start going to her and saying "Yeah, I have a question about closing the door. I don't really understand what you mean." My friend said it feels like working at your parents house with all the rules. A colleague updated that to say it's like a cross between your parents house and a psychiatric hospital. Yes, boys and girls, that's where I get to work. This place slowly makes you crazy. And turns you in to a bad dresser. It's a proven fact.

The theme song for this post is "Keep off the Grass" by Todd Snider. If you don't listen to Todd Snider, you're missing out. Good times.