is it just me?

So, PBR is a beer, of course. But did you know it is also the Professionall Bullriders Association? Yessiree, that's right. And on Saturday night they came to Madison. My friend invited me to go with her, she billed it as a 'rodeo'. I thought a rodeo sounded fun. I envisioned some horse stunts, maybe a little calf roping. Who knows. I had never been to a rodeo. But this is not a rodeo. It's just cowboys holding on to bucking bulls for dear life. And let me tell you what - that is some crazy shit.

So, I am not sure I have ever been around so many bonafide cowboys. I mean, they really do wear the hats and the pearl button shirts and the boots. But the part I thought was funny was that the bullriders wear chaps with all this spangly stuff on them. Like sparkly pink streamers. I’m not kidding. It’s totally un-macho and kind of bizarre. So anyway, as all those Luke Perry fans know all too well, you have to stay on the bull for eight seconds to get a score. If you do that then they come up with a number which was totally meaningless to me at first but then I learned to whoop and holler for anything say 84 or above. And boo if you think they did a good job but their score is lower than that. The thing that is silly is either a) these guys weren’t that good or b) their scoring system is too hard since there was a grand total of one guy who had a qualifying score in both rounds which means he was the only one that could win. Kind of anti-climactic if you ask me.

So, I don’t really know where all the people there came from. I guess from farms around Madison. They really didn’t look like city folk. There were lots of boys in hats and ladies in tight jeans. And Miller Lite for everybody. In between the rounds they use a Bobcat like a Zamboni to clear the dirt. Those are the sponsors: Miller Lite, Bobcat, Dodge Trucks and other shit for which I am definitely NOT the target market.

There was a sweepstakes for a Dodge Mega Cab truck. (Actually, it turns out they tricked us because the drawing there was for a silver belt buckle and then you qualified for the truck drawing at the finals). So we went to check out the truck and signed ourselves up. Let me tell you - the cab of that thing is roughly the size of my living room. It’s huge. It has seating for, like, 11. Well, probably not 11 cowboys but 11 girls like me. I was kind of disappointed not to win, actually, since I decided my dog and I would look cool riding around in that thing.

So at one point the announcer says, “Do we have any rednecks here tonight?” I was gonna laugh if no one yelled because that place was jam packed with rednecks. But lots of people said “Woooo!” And then the announcer said “Do you know how to make a redneck holler?” And then they started playing Sweet Home Alabama. Classic.

One thing I found strange is that it was kind of family event (aside from the guy almost getting crushed to death by a raging bull) what with the clowns, etc. But then they kept trying to get people to dance, and if some lady started getting freaky they would put the spotlight on her. And then they gave her a free pair of boots. But seriously she was totally shaking her ass right in front of the clowns face. I am sure all the kids were like – that’s how you get new boots? I’m gonna have to try that on my momma! So, I am not sure that was the best for the kids, but at least there was Boogerhead – the little kid rodeo clown who ran around with the big clown and did hat tricks and stuff.

So, if PBR comes to your town I recommend it, sort of. After a while it gets boring watching cowboys get thrown to the ground. Especially when it only takes 2 seconds. But I guarantee you will get to hear a redneck holler.