is it just me?

because apparently the only place you're going to see the sun if you live in Wisconsin is in your daydreams. So have at it. This winter has put me in a real pisser of a mood which does not lend itself to good blogging. Not much funny happens as I bundle up and shuttle between house and car, trying to see through my eyes which are watering because of the cold and my glasses which are perennially fogged (I am sooooo cool). So, there you have it. I am sort of trying to snap out of it but pretty much it is not working. However, I have some Friday tidbits for you.

I'm sorry, have we met?

The people I work with, as I have mentioned, are not the most observant. The absent-minded professor is a stereotype not completely without merit. However, it reached new heights last Friday. I overhear two people talking in the hallway "No, no...he went back to Germany." "Really?" "Yeah, he got offered some other job and he left." I peek out and sure enough they are standing in front of an office which was occupied by an Austrian professor who was here for a year (maybe two?) and then left for a job in Germany three years ago. I am not kidding. In fact, someone else occupied that office for more than a year, and has since moved out and it has been vacant since the summer. And somehow, this person, who works in this building, and attends faculty meetings, and should at least have some vague idea of who his colleagues are was SHOCKED to find out this guy was gone. Seriously. This is what I am up against. Oh well, at least it means I can wear the same pair of pants twice in a week without worrying what anyone thinks of me. I should just be happy that no one is introducing themselves to me and asking if I like my new job which I have had for almost five years.

the fine art of being a slacker
I think it is well known that I am not the most dedicated employee around, but that is partly because I can get my work done in less time than I am in my office, so I can slack without doing a bad job. However, it has come to my attention that I have serious competition in the bad worker olympics, coming from an unlikely source. On the first floor is the office for a journal that is edited here, and they have a staff person. She is in her mid fifties (I think) and has had this job for a long time. I have often noticed that I don't see her in her office when I walk by, but have always sort of assumed that she is in a meeting or something. Not so. Apparently, she comes in, turns on her light and her computer, and leaves. The building. In her car. And goes places. No one knows where. But she has figured out, correctly, that if it LOOKS like she is just out for a minute then no one thinks too much of it. Apparently this has been going on for years. A while back, they replaced everyone's light switch with motion sensors, in an attempt to conserve energy. Apparently this woman did not let them put one in her office. Now THAT is serious dedication to being slack. Wow. I have a long way to go.

splish splash
For some reason I decided it would be fun to take baby lizard to swimming lessons. I don't want her to be scared of water, and she sort of seemed to enjoy the pool last summer so I thought 'hey - it might be nice in the middle of winter to spend some time at a steamy indoor pool'. Or, not so much. I show up for my first class last week, and because baby liz is so tiny we are doing the one where parents get in the water too. However, as I am changing into my suit I notice that all of the other moms are dressed. And their kids are a lot bigger than mine. They don't let you out of the locker room until class time, so I am standing there waiting. In my bathing suit. With a bunch of clothed women. Awesome. The only thing more awkward than standing around in your bathing suit is doing so next to a bunch of fully clothed people. So finally I make some crack about it, and it turns out there are several classes there. several of which are kids only. Finally I see some other hapless moms in suits, but I did not get the memo that I am suppose to wear shorts over my swimsuit. what? why? I mean, I don't look that fabulous in a swimsuit, but I am not sure that wearing shorts makes it better. But, all the other moms (no kidding - all of them) are wearing shorts. So I decided then and there that swimming lessons would be a great way for baby Lizard to bond with her dad and from now on he is going in the water with her. So there. As the mean teacher called out the names of all the kids in the class, she looks at me (in my suit) and says "so, will you be going in with her?" and because I am not really capable of being civil I say "no, I dress like this all the time" and she looks at me from her unfortunate wetsuit and says "I do". Boy, this is going to be fun. Also, the water and surrounding pool area were FREEZING. All the kids' teeth were chattering, and I think some of them were turning blue. No kidding. Totally not what I was hoping for. Baby Lizard was acting more like a baby koala, desperately clinging to my neck and tucking up her legs to keep them out of the arctic water. We are skipping class tomorrow. Then only six to go. Money well spent.

and a pack of camel lights, please

this morning I made kind of an embarrassing purchase at the drugstore. it wasn't so much any of the individual items, more the combination. It was worse than the time not long ago when I purchased condoms and diapers at the same time. The cashier gave me a look and I wanted to say "hey - at least I know what got me into this mess, people". But then I was thinking - man the people that work at the drugstore must see some crazy stuff. And they know a lot about you. There is nothing more personal than what a girl buys a drugstore. Well, maybe there is, but not much. Anyway, at least I wasn't buying cigarettes to go with my diapers.

A related story, just before Christmas in the trash can in the bathroom on my floor at work there was a pregnancy test. HA! I am the only person that works on this floor that is still in my child bearing years, and I would rather die than take a pregnancy test at work. Seriously. Clearly it had been done in a hurry, and everything had been torn apart and then cast aside. But somehow, the used test had ended up right on top with the result (negative) visible. haha. I thought things like that only happened in sitcoms. I mean, it was pretty clear that this person was hoping for a negative test. But why wouldn't you at least wrap up the evidence in the drugstore bag (which was cast on the floor). We spent most of the day speculating on who it could have been, decided we had no idea (once I swore a million times that it wasn't me), and went about our business. But it at least was good for a few hours of gossipy fun. And apparently everyone over fifty thinks getting pregnant is very funny and they all like to say "well it's not ME" and laugh.

Oh, a final note about pregnancy (random, I admit). I saw an ad for one of those drug studies and they said they are looking for men and women 18-25, but the women must be post-menpausal or medically sterile (?!). Umm...so basically they want to make sure that there is no way that this person will ever have a child after taking this medicine which means that the drug is no joke, and I, for one, am not interested in being a guinea pig for it. But seriously, are there post-menopausal women under the age of 25? Does that even exist?

let it snow
It snowed 13 inches here on Wednesday. It snowed and snowed and snowed all day long. People were trapped on the interstate for 24 (more?) hours, and everything is mess. The world shut down, but not the university. Despite the fact that buses stopped running, churches cancelled Ash Wednesday services, and the news was telling to you to stay home, the University did not cancel classes until 3:30pm. And then they said that despite all of the above 3rd shift workers were expected to come in to work (too bad for you if you take the bus, and good luck not crashing your car) or take vacation. Bastards. Seriously, you can't say to someone 'hey, since they are saying not to travel if you can help it and to pack emergency supplies if you must leave your house, why don't you just take the night off?' Sheesh.

In honor of the snow and poor road conditions we have decided to drive to the Twin Cities for the weekend. I am excited about a weekend with my in-laws - that is how badly I need a change of scenery. Wish us luck. Happy weekend.